Since I have been open about my struggle with post natal depression I have had lots of people say they understand, people saying it is hard for everyone being a mum/parent.  I have been told by lots of mums that we all feel that way and just don’t talk about it.  Well sorry to say it but they are wrong.  Postnatal depression is different for everyone –  I don’t claim to understand it, however I do claim to know how hard it is and that it is definitely not experienced by all mums ( yes we do have a terrible suicide rate but if we all had PND it would be a lot higher).  I have huge admiration for anyone who could have another child after battling PND – I know I couldn’t.

Yes parenting is hard for everyone and yes we all struggle as parents – wondering what we are supposed to do, if this lasts forever and why on earth we wanted children.  I guess  there are a few lucky ones who take to parenting and really truely love every moment – that was my dream, my goal but definitely not reality.  Luckily us humans seem pre programmed to reproduce as otherwise we would live in a largely childless society.

My baby turned one yesterday.  I have to say he is the most adorable fun, snuggly happy little man.  He is not the handful, live wire and many other negative labels put onto him by everyone – if you ask his elder brothers Finn is the bees knees.

The last year has been unbelievably hard and so many times I have thought everyone especially Finn and his brothers would be better off without me, yet I cannot give up on a cuddle from those sweet chubby arms and a dribble kiss.  I am so lucky my boys and my husband have been so understanding, forgiving and supportive.

Happy Birthday Finn.  Love you. XOXO Mama